Creative Journeys - an exhibition

Should you wandering around Hackney Central one day, check out our exhibition in the gallery. It runs until May 25th (2013) and artwork is on sale. 

Should you be inspired by my work, I'm running a series of workshops in the museum. Just ask at the front desk.. "What the bloody hell is all that about then?"

SSP x

Interview with Media Mind UK

The lovely girls from Media Mind UK came down to my exhibition I share with Core Arts at the London Hackney Museum for another two months (thats a lot of plugs for half a sentence!) and here's what we got up to..

http://www.themediamind.co.uk/2013/03/10/interview-kerry-hudson/

Internet Dating And Mental Health

Just how honest are we on internet dating profiles? We like people to see our best bits, our qualities, the things we are proud of, so we leave out the flaws, the weaknesses, the things we wish we didn’t have. We upload our best picture, the one that say’s attractive, sexy, happy, not the mid blinking, pre make up or post bottle of plonk.

But fast forward the potential relationship three years - which is when we approach the notorious three year itch and if we don’t make the right decision we have to wait for the seven year itch, it’s a bit like being sentenced then waiting for parole - and by then we are all attuned to the traits we left out of our original profile. So why not just get it out of the way in the beginning? No way!

Being totally honest in our profiles can go in one of two directions. You either get no replies, perhaps the odd one or two after pub closing hours, or you attract someone who admires you for your honesty AND your flaws. Bingo. You may as start choosing the fabric and start table planning.

I thought about doing this experiment, for about ten minutes, but did I really want to greet my potential soulmate with my most personal personality defects, which for me is my mental health? Oh no. People are still scared of mental health, but even though stats are rising, awareness is on the up, and all of us know someone who knows someone with a severe and enduring mental illness, we would apparently live with an ex convict then someone like me. A whopping 75% of us don’t let on about our condition for a whole year, often allowing behavioural symptoms such as a manic episode to do the talking for us.

So, my profile begins.. female, thirties, Aquarius, journalist and textiles artist living in London zone 2, with a professional (that means photoshopped) pic of my good side (good start, grabs his attention). Into reading, walking, swimming, ski-ing (like it), dining, dancing, partying (so far, so good), likes interesting science facts, random humour that makes me laugh uncontrollably (she’s a keeper)... and stalking people off the Crime channel. My friends see me as manic, an insomniac, of which I’m prone to delusions from a parallel world. I can’t make decisions unless when dating then I make bad ones. I keep up to sixteen rodents and have a weird obsession with Noel Edmunds (logs out). Oh, and I’ve only been ski-ing once, I was rubbish, and the only thing I “read” is Take a Break. Really, lets just stick to our qualities.

Last year I joined Guardian Soulmates which was my first ever internet dating experience. I did the fabulous sounding profile and clicked the upload button, and by the end of play the following day my inbox was shockingly chocka with messages, likes and favourites and I made it onto the front page (whoo hoo!). But it was very overwhelming, my previous relationship had left me feeling worthless, and I felt like a fraud because I hadn’t declared my mental illness, so I didn’t allow myself to reply to any of these potential soul mates. Six months of not replying later, still guiltily peeping out from the front page, I deactivated my account. I kicked myself for being ashamed of something I have no control over.

What’s even worse are job applications because we HAVE to tick a box stating whether we have a mental health condition or not. If we declare it, hmm.. they’re not supposed to deselect us but they do. If we don’t, and become unwell, they can a) not pay us sick leave or b) dismiss us for fraud. Epilepsy, diabetes or hard of hearing are other examples of “hidden” disabilities but without that awkward stigma which is mental health.

There is one dating site which caters for people with mental health issues looking for love or even friendship and its called No Longer Lonely. It was set up by a guy called Sam with mental health issues of his own who told me..
“I get regular testimonials from users attesting to how their lives have improved because of this site. Fact is that we’ve spawned at least forty marriages. I think there is a profound comfort getting to know someone for romantic intention when the idea of disclosure is taken off the table. We speak a common language of experience.

I’m all for people with a mental health diagnosis getting together with a similar partner, however, the cross-over of symptoms can be hard work and need deeper attention and indeed support. Mood disorders and personality disorders can be a toxic combination if unattended, although anxiety disorders tend to be more straight forward to understand, but cross partnerships in general can be difficult because not only do we have our own condition to control, we then have a whole new batch of symptoms to understand and nurture. Match partnerships, ie bipolar to bipolar tend to work better because both partners share the same awareness, experience and empathy.

Friends who think they are helping when they say “You need to be with someone normal” do not tend to understand that whilst their support has not gone unappreciated, we often feel that our condition is highlighted in comparison with someone without one, like having a spotlight shining down on us.

I’m done with the whole internet dating thing, it wasn’t for me. Perfect if your fridge is empty and you’re skint because you could fashion a short notice dinner date (if it goes well you get breakfast too) but I think I’ll do better hanging around outside manic depression support groups and depot clinics!

To read this in the Huffington Post, go to http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/kerry-hudson/internet-dating-profiles-_b_2776853.html

Realistic New Year Resolutions

My new years resolution this year was to start smoking and so far it’s going very well.

Admittedly I hated it to start with, namely the head rush, and had to pour cans of coke down my neck to combat the taste, but in order to give up a guilty pleasure I needed another guilty pleasure and a second new years resolution is to give up the booze since my folks - monitoring my lubricated antics over the festive period - have threatened me with rehab.

I’ve heard, read, experienced that people with bipolar love to drink, snort, shop, gamble, ‘hold hands’ because the quick fix attached is similar to our natural buzzers and we often prefer to self medicate than listen to our doctors.

Another thing we ‘forget’ is that drinking on top of our meds stops them working properly. THIS is my reason to quit, even if just for a few months (or minutes) because 2012 has seen two psychiatric admissions, a break up and a bingo habit and I need to see some positive changes in 2013 or I will simply leave Walford (yes, I believe ‘Stenders is real, give me something to cling onto).

Other new years resolutions include..

- See more of people - I actually have more conversations with my pet guinea pigs than people. As a writer I need to be more nosey, find out what's going on in other peoples lives, swear to secrecy and then change names.

- Practice the drums more - I’m getting crap on the drum kit. How am I to be the nagging thirty something drummer with her Take A Break magazine and Ovaltine on the floor tom in a band with teenage comb overs unless I practice?

- De Clutter - My flat is starting to look like something from a Channel Four documentary on hoarding. Because I make installation art I often hang around skips and scrap projects like flies and drag useless materials back to my flat with the promise of bringing it to life.

As humans we are more likely to list the things we must change and forget the things that worked for us in 2012, like.. er.. changing lightbulbs or remote control batteries. Other things I learnt last year to take with me into 2013 is..

- You can’t fix other people - I spent the last five years trying to eliminate someone else’s baggage, instead I just added to my own. The only people you can fix are yourselves, and you need to swallow a bit more than pills and self help books to do this. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and CAT (Cognitive Analytical Therapy) are great tools.

- Go against the grain - not only is this a fabulous method for cutting fabric to make cushion cover binding, it also works when you’re so low you can’t face the outside world so you FACE THE OUTSIDE WORLD. Fresh air and change of scenery works on both the mental and physical being.

- Don’t ask you don’t get - Although we’ve been hearing this since the age of five some of us (me included) still think good fortune will come to us if we sit and wait quietly. Last year I wrote for some of my favourite magazines and supplements because I asked to. I also had a three month solo exhibition - since art school - of my textiles art because I asked to. If anyone had of said no I would’ve been exactly where I was anyway.

Whatever you decide to do or not to do in the coming year, have a marvellous new one!

To read this in the Huffington Post.. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/kerry-hudson/realistic-new-years-resolutions_b_2401729.html?just_reloaded=1

Hypomanic Episode and Drinking Shaving Foam

‘Hypomanic episode’ may sound like a TV documentary about biochemistry but it’s something I go through about once or twice a year, usually triggered by stress (that can also be ‘fun’ stress), prolonged periods of insomnia (this is what usually gets me) and forgetting medication even just for a couple of days. 

I don’t usually know I’m hypomanic until its over, or I’m taken to hospital and it’s explained to me. The things I obsess over, usually the welfare of animals, are at the time ‘normal thought patterns’ and delusions or commonly to me the presence of people around me from edwardian hookers to a big budget film crew, are part of my daily make-up.

I recently had a hypomanic episode, accompanied by mixed episode (horrid.. manic, depressed and anxious all at the same time, exhausting) brought on by five consecutive days of little or no sleep. I even tried to drink myself to sleep but that fueled my mania. I stalked people, obsessed over cats, put my full address on the internet and invited people to come round and help themselves to stuff, even threw stuff off of my balcony, being spurred on by people with me on my balcony (there were no people on my balcony). As if that wasn’t bad enough a previously planned date turned up, and not only was I emptying the contents of my house out of the window, wide eyed, tears speeding down my cheeks, but Fatal Attraction was on the TV. What a catch.

The following day my good friend Sheena came over - she had judged my mood swings by the crap I was putting on facebook - and she took me to hospital. As if five days of no sleep, mixed episoding and a domino rally of incident after incident isn’t enough, a doctor will see you, ask you questions, take notes, then you wait, and then another doctor will see you, ask you questions, take notes, and then you wait, and then. if admitted, another doctor will see you, ask you questions, takes notes...

On the ward I slept constantly. I woke to eat, take pills, then went back to bed again. I was watched every fifteen minutes. They took away my belt, shoe laces, even my business cards(?). I did the sleep thing for about five days before I started talking, taking part in group activities, therapy, seeing visitors etc.. it was going very well until I got attacked by a psychotic woman (patient, not staff) who left her teeth indents in my arm, and I panicked, not because of the attack, but because I realised for the first time that I was on a psych ward for psyched up women and I was one of those.

The following day I went to see the Turner Prize and forgot to go back. I woke the following morning in a Crack den with messages on my phone from the ward, the police, my friends..

A week later I was discharged - it was a bit of a Sarah Connor moment from Terminator 2 where I said everything I thought they wanted to hear - and I went back home, so long as someone stayed with me (Sheena).

A few days later, I was back in hospital, this time following swallowing a box of soluble cocodamol (it was like drinking shaving foam) with brandy. The following day all I could talk about to the doctors, to my visitors was about cats (the animals not the musical) and cried constantly, and, I lay in a bed for two days with only a clock on the wall right in from of me, were they trying to make me more insane??

Because what goes up, must come down, really down. The more up, the more down. Hypomania, suicidal.

I still have Sheena staying with me, I owe her big time. And I’m banned from booze as my worried parents have been threatened me with rehab and I don’t want to go because you can’t drink in there. 

Happy new year!

How To Avoid Family Arguments This Christmas

'Tis the season to bicker all the way to the in-laws, or is it? Here's some popular disputes and how to prevent them...  

"I'm not doing the driving"

When I was growing up, my family all lived down the same street, nowadays hardly any of us live in the same town we grew up in and Christmas get togethers often involve trains, planes and 'accidental' car trouble.

The journey there isn't the problem, it allows time to fill in the gaps to prevent awkward conversations like who's getting divorced and who didn't get the promotion etc, but if only a day trip then comes the return journey and somebody has to drive, which means, someone has to stay sober. As I'm sure we've all experienced it's not much fun being the only one sat there with a glass of fake fizz whilst everyone else is on the dance floor, the twister mat or trying to play charades, on a twister mat, on a dance floor. If not, then maybe it's your turn to drive.

Besides, whilst you're sober and everyone else's smashed, depending on your relationship with the in-laws it's a perfect opportunity to do a bit of present swapping or tipping the family silver into your handbag.

"We're not going to your mum's"

If in a relationship, the general rule is that if we went to his or her folks last year, we go to ours this year. However, what if their folks are divorced and remarried? That means we only get to spend Christmas with our folks every three years. Or what if its our first Christmas together and they want to spend this Christmas with their folks, ours next year, but we spent last years' with our ex partners folks and have promised ours this year? Can you see where I'm going with this? It would make sense to have the whole lot over for Christmas but then there are the sibling in laws, the nieces and nephews, and pending on how far you spiral down the family web it could be more like cooking for Crisis at Christmas than a festive family dinner.

Perhaps say "That's fine dear, so long as we can do mine Boxing day" and lets face it, Boxing day is much more fun - the local pubs are open, better films on the box, and less expectations of dinner if you're cooking - besides, if there's nothing in the diary for the 27th you can really celebrate and wash down a box of chocky liquors with a bottle of Baileys (so long as you got out of doing the driving).

"Put a jumper on and turn the heating off"

Coincidently, energy costs increase during cold weather warnings. The picturesque family image of us all sitting around a glowing fire toasting marshmallows to the festive sound of church bells should be replaced with that of us in woolly hats and gloves under a duvet watching <em>Eastenders</em> Christmas (disaster) special. 

Apparently the "We're not putting the heating on just yet" dispute starts in October, so by Christmas day we should all be used to the reaction we get when we flick the switch and should have a jumper ready.

Leaving the oven door open after you've roasted your turkey will keep the kitchen warm for all of ten minutes, and pressing used chewing gum into window sills (between the window and the sill) helps lock in warmth but only if you've been doing this all year. If you live in flats, befriend those on the top floor as these will be the warmest.

TV ANTICS

"Where's the remote control?"

Believe it or not, popular 999 calls have been from distraught partners of those hiding or refusing to hand over the remote control. Unfortunately, the post roast selection of Christmas television is what holds me back from my idyllic crisp country walk.. in Homerton. Is it sad that the only time I watch the soaps is on Christmas day? 

There have been many Christmas's where I've been a guest in someone's house and politely sat sweating and trembling for what seems like hours before I had the courage to ask for the tenth time "You did say it was OK to watch Eastenders at eight didn't you?"

I actually paid my dad £3 once to let me watch 'Stenders' in peace one Christmas day. £2 if I could turn over and another £1 for keeping quiet and not tell me everything that was about to happen whilst it was on.

However, in recent years, something amazing has happened. The plus box. These give us the opportunity to record and playback anything on the other side. However, it's just not the same when watching sports, especially when your neighbour and avid Spurs fan whoops and cheers every time a goal is scored. Which brings me to my next dispute..

"We're not watching sport on Christmas day"

An informant has assured me that there are no fixtures on Christmas day, however, sports news channels operate as normal and this can lead to arguments during peak festive soap viewing, such as all day. 

For your footy mad dad, £3 may not be enough to rent out the remote, you may have set the fire alarm off, change channel during evacuation, then hide the controller VERY well, but not well enough to forget where you put it, perhaps in the washing machine (let's face it, who's more likely to use it). Alternatively, get them a very interesting manly present to play with, such as a selection box of toiletries or a Top Gear calendar.

KITCHEN ANTICS

"You should've cooked it like this... "

Why is it that people (who aren't cooking) always wait until you're about to dish up and then start loitering in the kitchen? Is it the aroma of the juicy bird roasted in fresh herbs? Or if you're anything like my Dad you may wish to just stand there and say how you would've done it differently.

To avoid health and safety issues such as scalds and chinese burns, stay out of the kitchen during cooking and serving (if doing so in the kitchen). If you're the chef then threaten whoever keeps coming in with the washing up, that'll keep them out.

If using someone elses cooker for the first time, get acquainted with it first. A couple of years ago I grilled a turkey. It didn't look very happy and neither did my guests.

"Who put the empty butter back in the fridge?"

It's a divorceable offence. Those who put empty milk cartons, jam jars and margarine tubs back in the fridge should hand themselves in and their presents back. I learnt at an early age that this is as good as illegal, however, I've sinced been back to my parents house, tried to raid the fridge for "fun food" such as sandwich fillers, creamy cakes and booze, and my mum's voice appears from nowhere "Don't eat that it's out of date"! Isn't that just as sinful? And who has booze in their fridge for that long it goes out of date? Surely the same people that put crisps in the fridge.

Throwing things away can be fun! You can play games such as bin buckaroo. 

Whatever you do this Christmas, wherever you may be with whomever you choose (or get lumbered with), wrap up, drive safe, and be nice to each other.

To see this piece in full and read more on Christmas antics, go to http://www.n16mag.com/latest-issue.html

Also on HuffPost UK Lifestyle

Alternative Medicines For Mental Health

Many of us are choosing a greener lifestyle, and that goes for medication too. Holistic therapist Sorrell Robbins explains "The idea of alternative medicine - namely herbs - is to help moderate and balance the individual alongside medical and/or psychiatric care and not to cure conditions that mainstream doctors were unable to". 

Holistic therapists are often a plan b to conventional practitioners - like GPs - however the role of the GP is not stripped of authority and is often required to approve certain treatments offered by the holistic therapist.

A holistic therapist should always check what medication you are already taking. Although natural herbs are just that - natural - they still hold potency and should be monitored when used with other medication.

Sorrell takes me through some of the common mental health symptoms she has worked with and what herbs and other alternative medicines she recommends.

Anxiety
Herbs such as valerian and hops help calm the mind. Hops also helps calmly release stored anger. Chamomile as we know also naturally calms the mind, but what we don't know is that we need at least two tea bags for it to have an effect. 

Roman chamomile is good for anxiety in kids, and frankincense with a drop of heart shakia if they are prone to panic attacks. Lavender is also useful is the child is too over-stimulated as it's great for all round relaxation, and that goes for adults too.

Hypnosis - although many people are both excited and nervous about apparent mind control, it is actually a myth. No-one can give you suggestions or commands that your mind won't allow because you are in control at all times. Clinical hypnosis - in oppose to what we see Derren Brown do on TV - is really deep relaxation and meditation. I put Sorrells' hypnotherapy to the test, and was pleasantly surprised at the level of relaxation she took me to through guided visualisation whilst balancing my mind and body. I am one of these un centered people that can usually only wind down whilst I'm asleep.

Depression 
Many of us have already heard of St Johns wart and it's one of the best selling over the counter and alternative medicines for the blues. It's non toxic and has proven effective results but it should not be taken alongside prescribed antidepressant or antipsychotic drugs as it can have the reverse effect.

Withania herbs help to restore motivation and passion, often lost during depressive episodes. It's good for libido too which is often lost during these episodes. Withania is also a tender energizer.

Rosemary naturally stimulates the circulation system and gives the adrenalin glands a gentle kick. Orange flower is good for children with depression as well as anger problems.

A massage helps boost circulation too, the cupping and hacking (don't be put off by the names given to the techniques) are great for energisers. A good oil to use bergamot as it helps with many types of depressive states, and rose water (rose otto) which has an uplifting effect whilst restoring balance.

Paranoia
Skullcap is known to calm down negative thinking which in turn can ease feelings of paranoia. Also try the valerian, hops and chamomile for their properties.

Orange flower mixed in water, like the hops, can help control feelings of anger and can be used for kids too.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - (OCD)
As well as the Skullcap, wild lettuce for it's mild sedative effect is a good natural medicine for OCD. As episodes of OCD are often triggered by stress and anxiety, also try the valerian, hops and chamomile. Valerian blended with otto rose is suitable for children with OCD.

Insomnia
The hops and valerian, often prepared together, are a common and effective natural sleep aid. They come in both tablet and tea form and it's best to make a pot and drink throughout the evening, not just before you go to bed. As with the tablets, try taking them a good hour or so before you go to bed. Lavender drops on the pillow also help us to relax. Be care with burning oils or incense at night time, the drops are much safer.

Mood Stabiliser
Lemon balm aids in the leveling out of moods, and it's properties are known to promote balance and harmony.

Addiction
The skullcap can also help with cravings, and is often used in detox blends that eliminate excess drugs from the body. Milk thistle helps cleanse the liver, although it must be used with caution if the liver has been subject to a disorder such as psoriasis. The wild lettuce is sometimes used as an opiate detox because of it's similar sedative effect.

Massage also helps people trying to detox, and lymphatic drainage strokes aid circulation and the elimination of toxins.

Aromatherapy (the use of oils) is also a great alternative remedy. It's soothing, relaxing, great for the skin and muscle tissue and has an immediate effect.  However, it only works on a superficial level. Herbs work on a deeper level on your organs and work much better long term.

To find out more about herbs or the work Sorrel does, click here. http://www.chamomileclinic.co.uk/