Pregnancy and the twelve week rule

I'm pregnant! Or am I?

The general rule is that you don't tell people you're preggars until you’re twelve weeks or more. Reasons being? You've just had your twelve week scan and there is actually a baby in there and not just wind build up or excess pies, and the 'risky' bit is now over; baby is nicely attached, breathing, doing the Hokey Cokey etc..

I asked a few preggars women if they followed the twelve week rule, some said of course, imagine every parent to be’s nightmare coming true and having to tell people you've lost your baby after personalised mugs and humorous bibs have been made. Others said they did tell people (selected people) straight away because if they had (and some did) misscarry they’d want the support rather than churning along as though nothings happened, running off to the loo's at work for secret sobs, not being able to explain why the extra work load from obviously unsympathetic boss can't be done.

I tried my hardest to keep quiet.. Of course I wanted people to know - I'd been branded the childless mad pet woman in her mid/late thirties whose never met the right man or been pregnant,  who was diagnosed infertile in her twenties, and spent the last twenty years on prescription cocktails of psych drugs - I wanted "I'm pregnant" tattooed across my face, I wanted to shove a jumper up my top, carefully so the arms didn't pop out, I wanted to ask people to ask me why I wasn't drinking, smoking, break dancing and jumping out of aeroplanes.. but I confined myself to people on busses and waiters in restaurants, because I knew I was safe with complete strangers!? "I couldn't sit down could I, pregnancy gives me swollen ankles.. Is the cream pasteurised, it's on my foods to avoid whilst pregnant list". It was like having a conversational affair. It was my release.

Of course when the time came, the twelve week rules’ sell by date has run out, I couldn't do it. Deflated? Dunno. I remember slipping it into passing conversations like.. "Me? Oh I'm just flicking through the Argos catalogue and watching Family Fortunes, oh and having a baby".