Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Climbing The Mania Ladder.. in Hackney Central

Many GP's are still unaware that prescribing anti-depressants to patients with bipolar disorder is like giving them cocaine, unless they're taking a mood stabilizer at the same time. It can send us high, and into a rapid cycling frenzy. Ideally only psychiatrists should be allowed to prescribe but then we'd need more of them. And now I'm actually starting to bore myself so I'll get to the point.

It's even a risk taking anti-depressants if you're on mood-stabilizers too and yesterday my CPN (community practice nurse - they come to your house and you can watch The Bill together and eat cake) said to me "You must tell me if feel like you're getting high" Of course. "It's really important that you don't get too high" I know. And I do know, but I can't help thinking it's a bit like... 

When you try on the perfect dress, it gives you the sexiest shape, brings out a glistening skin tone, there's one left and it's half price. How easy would it be to put back?

Or after a long week of staying late at work you order a bottle of crisp dry white wine and when the waiter pours a drop for you to try it feels like diamonds on your tongue. And by the way it's complimentary because you complain all the time. Would you send it back??

Or you meet THE one after three years of subscriptions, they tick ALL your boxes, you've met three times and each time they get hotter and funnier and they've just booked you both a weekend on a barge (by the way you love barges). Would you knock it on the head???

But unfortunately, dresses get stuff spilt down them, wine gives you a hangover and  relationships cause heartache, so, soon as I feel the need to get the ladder, and tie bunting to every lamp post in Hackney Central I'll let my CPN know. 

And then take his cake away.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Kim Noble

If you haven't already you should follow this here gentleman's blog. His dark and playful sense of humour makes me smile and he's on my fantasy Family Fortunes team along with Noel Edmunds and the Met Police. It was Kim's brother Yan that set this blog up for me, otherwise I'd be writing my thoughts (posts) on paper and putting them through peoples letter boxes still.

These are a few of my least favourite things..

People who attach trellis to their outside wall without plants.

A really good song followed by a shit b-side.

Musicians that have their photo taken with their guitar whilst they're not even playing it (even worse - not even plugged in).

People that show off their posh new home (that daddy paid for - of course if mine did the same I'd delete this).

People who's first question isn't " What's your name" but "What do you do?".

People who know someone who knows Eddie Reader.. and think it makes them look  cool.

People who won't get on a bus because other people are on it.

People who think by soaking filthy pots in water overnight will clean them.

Songwriters who put too many syllables in lines.

Poems that don't rhyme.. it's Prose!

People who stand at the bar in pubs chatting so you can't get served.

Women who go out clubbing in winter in vest tops and no coat - it costs a quid to hang in up! A pack of ten beechams lemsips is four quid!

Skinny girls who count calories.

People that have a new born baby and update status before cutting the umbilical cord.

Bar staff and bouncers that go into work on their night off and just stand there in the way.

People that wear hats and scarfs when it's not cold.

People that buy fruit slices from M&S when they can do it themselves because "It's convenient" (My mum buts pre grated cheese, I have even seen pre-packed frozen jacket potatoes and cheese in her freezer "for emergencies")

Adverts that lie.. Arial washing powder used to show  a stained piece of cloth "The old Arial" followed by a bright white piece of cloth "The new Arial" then six months later, a new advert with a strained piece of cloth "the old (new) Arial" (where was the stain on the last advert?) followed by a bright white piece of cloth "The new(er) Arial" repeated every six months until someone - wasn't me - complained that they were full of shit.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Letter to Boris Johnson

Dear Boris Johnson

Having waited on a freezing train platform at 7.30am for 45 minutes whilst train after train got cancelled, when one finally turn up it was so rammed I got pushed off. When the next one eventually turned up I got elbowed out the way and couldn't get on. (I was there ages before them).
As a result I missed my transport to Crufts at the NEC which I have been looking forward to since the beginning of time (I'm wearing my favourite dress with owls on). I really wanted to see dogs today.
I hate you.
Boris Gardiner is much nicer.

Fuming, of London E9

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Romantic Idealizations of the Manic Phase.

Typical bipolar thinking is that everyone involved in our case (care co-ordinator, CNP, Psychiatrist, Therapist, GP Pharmacist) get together for a drink and talk about us (singular us, we are they're favourite client) and how amazing we are. And when they are on annual leave (which may feel like all the time but it's just coincidently when we have appointments booked) they come back early because they miss our notes (which is why they couldn't face going abroad in the first place) the clinical equivalent of Facebook addicts. The WORST thing that a doctor/therapist etc can say during this phase is "Remind me what dose are you on again?" which would crush all romantic idealization, they should have it engraved on the sand sculpture they have of us in their hallway.

Automatically I'm assuming that my whole team read this blog, even though I am not currently in that phase, I actually think I AM their favourite.

My meds go up today.