Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Side effects of effectiveness

A few of you have mentioned that I've been quite quiet these last few weeks on the ol' blog, it's a tricky one, I'm in a medical Catch 22 scenario. On my prescribed dose of medication I get hideous obsessive compulsive thoughts, and sometimes they seep into actual visions, but at the same time they stablilise my moods. However, on a lower dose, my moods are unstable - mixed episodes of excitability and excessive lows - and anxiety attacks. So, one day I can't cope with the OCT's and take 100mgs the next day I can't cope with the downsides and double or even triple the dose. My partner watched me tear my hair out (metaphorically, I'm on a mission to look like Julie Christie in her twenties) and tried to contact East London mental health services but he would have had better luck building a Tesco Metro on the moon. I'm also very, very tired. The upping and downing of my meds are doing a yo-yo effect on my energy levels. Caffeine and Cava are top of my shopping list and the lists in general are getting longer - I even found myself writing a list of lists the other day!
Bear with me - I do have a few things i want to write about, I just need to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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