Friday, 24 June 2011

Mixed episodes, Argos and hobnobs

I'm recently experiencing high volumes of mixed episode. Btw.. 

A mixed episode is essentially an episode that simultaneously presents symptoms of both depression and mania. For example, an individual with bipolar disorder (manic depression) may have all the frantic energy of mania, but may also be struggling with the black thoughts of depression 

I'm getting myself over-excited about something that minutes later I can't think of anything worse. Not only is it mentally exhausting for me but it p*sses other people of too because it comes across that I'm indecisive and lose interest in them, which I don't. Example, I get an idea in my head that all my friends should have matching rollerblades and I go on the Argos website and place an order for five (I have to painfully select five friends, this must be what it was like saving lives on the Titanic) pairs of matching rollerblades but by the time I get the purchase confirmation email I'm convinced that a) none of these people actually like me that much anyway, b) one of them will skate in front of a speeding car and die and c) I've caused a mass friction over who got blades and who didn't and have created a social division. Not to mention Im down £224.94. 

I have a love hate relationship with maps, it takes me longer to work out how to get somewhere than get there. Yesterday I spent an hour working out a cycling route that takes only twenty minutes. I was definitely excited about it, and then I definitely wasn't, and didn't go, even though I'd bunked off especially. I paced up and down my lounge and felt compelled to know everything everyone was doing, so I asked friends (not about rollerblades) to tell me what bus they took to work and how long it took. You got stuck in traffic? Where abouts? How long for? I even got the exact details of the last forty eight hours from one friend, from her flight details to how long she waited at traffic lights on the way to the airport.

I managed to slow myself down with half a bottle of plonk and some strong painkillers (do NOT try this at home - I became violently sick - I wasn't aware of any interaction between lithium and codeine) and six back to back episodes of Six Feet Under. I'm at the bit where Brenda finds herself addicted to sex whilst fueling her inspiration to write her book. I find a quiet room and a pack of hobnobs useful but thats just me.

Pic.. One of my stills featured in the Core Arts Summer Exhibition London from July 1st 2011 

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