People who attach trellis to their outside wall without plants.
A really good song followed by a shit b-side.
Musicians that have their photo taken with their guitar whilst they're not even playing it (even worse - not even plugged in).
People that show off their posh new home (that daddy paid for - of course if mine did the same I'd delete this).
People who's first question isn't " What's your name" but "What do you do?".
People who know someone who knows Eddie Reader.. and think it makes them look cool.
People who won't get on a bus because other people are on it.
People who think by soaking filthy pots in water overnight will clean them.
Songwriters who put too many syllables in lines.
Poems that don't rhyme.. it's Prose!
People who stand at the bar in pubs chatting so you can't get served.
Women who go out clubbing in winter in vest tops and no coat - it costs a quid to hang in up! A pack of ten beechams lemsips is four quid!
Skinny girls who count calories.
People that have a new born baby and update status before cutting the umbilical cord.
Bar staff and bouncers that go into work on their night off and just stand there in the way.
People that wear hats and scarfs when it's not cold.
People that buy fruit slices from M&S when they can do it themselves because "It's convenient" (My mum buts pre grated cheese, I have even seen pre-packed frozen jacket potatoes and cheese in her freezer "for emergencies")
Adverts that lie.. Arial washing powder used to show a stained piece of cloth "The old Arial" followed by a bright white piece of cloth "The new Arial" then six months later, a new advert with a strained piece of cloth "the old (new) Arial" (where was the stain on the last advert?) followed by a bright white piece of cloth "The new(er) Arial" repeated every six months until someone - wasn't me - complained that they were full of shit.
Spleen vented! What a charming hate list - I completely agree with all your observations, except your view on poetry. I don't care if poetry rhymes or not; when its good, poetry can elevate the soul to unparalleled levels of joy, when its bad it makes me want to hurt some poets.
ReplyDeleteI agree as well with your observations, except I do like haiku, and I use pre-grated cheese because I don't like preparing food or cooking so I try to make it go as quickly as possible. And, whenever I grate cheese I always grate my thumbnail off along with it. When I see people who go out in winter without a coat or who go out in the pouring rain with no coat or umbrella I always think, "Who let them go out like that?" (because if you are too dumb to bring a coat or umbrella with you in the Willamette Valley in Oregon, USA, rain capitol of the universe, you obviously need someone at home to supervise you.)
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