I have a completely new understanding of single people now. It's late afternoon, on a Sunday, and I have no one to play with. The only person I've had any contact with today is Nail, who I parted with a couple of months ago and who has since moved to a caravan in a field hundreds of miles away (God am I that bad?) to - amongst other things - have some space from one another. We've spoken four times already this morning. And skyped. The space is going well isn't it? To be honest were made for each other, but that can also have a negative effect. Two people with enough baggage to sink a cruise ship round the Med full of Thomas Cook blouses and scratch card winners who have already been to Benedorm and The Canary Island that year, can ultimately weigh each other right down. Mr Upstairs once asked me if we wanted to be referred to couple counseling aimed at couples who both suffer some form of mental health but I had to decline, I was in fact too embarrassed, we'd only been together for nineteen days. A friend who works for a publishing house recently asked if I'd be up for pitching a book about couples with mental health in relationships, but I feel like I need a happy ending first, or the book would end on a low "It's all over, there's nothing you can do about it, see ya"
So here I am, feeling like a bit like a Council version Carrie Bradshaw - drinking neat gin and smelling of guinea pigs.
I'm one of these people who's hardly single. I'm not quite sure how it happens, I go outside single to put the bins out and come back in a relationship. I'm not one of these people who overlap, or as one of my favourite quotes as said by Julie Burchill "Put the hot water on before you get out of the bath" . So I've never really understood what it really - as it not the Disney version - feels like to be at home, by self, once again, going through the phone to see which (girl) friend is a) single, b) within a five mile radius and c) hasn't deleted my number.
I'm off for a wander down Brick Lane. I think the large crowds, ironica dress sense, and over priced decaffeinated soya builders teas is just what I need to cure my Sunday loneliness. 55% on moodscope.com today, lets see how that compares to I_killed_another_human_being_scope.com when I come back.
pics - my phone and one of the keyboards upstairs (in the room I shouldn't really be going in)