It's a week since I started my blog and I've had nearly 400 hits so I'm feeling good today. I've had many emails saying they're enjoying it - a particular one from the man behind moodscope this morning - it seems that many of us were taping the top forty on the brink of OCD back in the 80's.
I'm also feeling good today because I was expecting to have a hang-over, not because I drank my body weight in red - heavy, spicy, velvety, marry me - wine, I didn't drink anything at all, but my friend Becky came over, and between us and our medication we are Bipolar-bear and Tamaza-Panda and it was very unusual for us not to feed of each others symptoms and lose a whole evening (and the following few days) to medicinal liquor. It's a blessing hanging out with other Bipolars - MDF groups are good (These are Manic Depression Foundation support groups, not a wood appreciation society, and by that I mean stuff wardrobes are made of, not porn) especially the last one I went to where someone was asked to take some time out because he was on a bit of a high and wouldn't let anyone else speak - only because for some people in the room this is the only time they do speak, but friends with bipolar, although lovely, can be a dangerous thing, a bit like a couple of speeding cars that eventually lose control of the breaks and crash into each other. Becky and I did well!
In a treatment centre once I traced my first erratic drinking behaviour back to aged twelve, where I put on my mums wedding dress, poured some Thunderbird into my Paddington bear flask and went to local rec, and threw up in the sand pit. Someone called my mum but she was at the time agoraphobic and couldn't come and get me so I stumbled home, a twelve year old in an oversized wedding dress, drunk. A few years later I went back to that same bottle of Thunderbird (my parents do not drink, both of them lost parents/siblings to alcoholism) and poured myself a mug (I was a teenager, drinking booze out of mugs was the done thing, as well as smoking menthols thinking your parents won't notice it) except what I failed to remember from nicking it the first time was that I'd filled the rest of the bottle up with water. Where was that sand-pit when I needed it that time?
Pic - Nail's Synthesizer Wendy